When Your Child Feels Anxious or Overwhelmed: How Coaching Can Help

Many parents come to us with a similar concern:

“My child seems anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in their head — and I’m not sure how to help anymore.”

Anxiety in children and teenagers is incredibly common, especially today. School pressure, friendships, social media, exams, family changes, and simply growing up can all contribute to a child feeling emotionally overloaded.

The tricky part is that anxiety doesn’t always look like anxiety.

It might show up as:

• Big emotional reactions to small things

• Avoidance (“I don’t want to go to school / clubs / see friends”)

• Perfectionism or fear of getting things wrong

• Anger, shutdowns, or constant reassurance-seeking

• Physical symptoms like tummy aches or headaches

As a parent, it can feel heartbreaking - and frustrating - to watch your child struggle when you just want to make things better.

Why Anxiety Feels So Hard for Young People

Children and teenagers often don’t yet have the language to explain what’s going on inside them.

They may not say “I’m anxious”. Instead, they say:

• “I hate school.”

• “Everyone’s annoying.”

• “I can’t do it.”

• “What if something bad happens?”

Their nervous system is doing its best to protect them - but without the tools to understand or regulate those feelings, everything can start to feel overwhelming.

This is where coaching can make a real difference.

How Coaching Supports Anxious or Overwhelmed Children

Coaching gives young people:

• A safe, neutral space to talk (not home, not school)

• Practical tools to understand their thoughts, feelings, and reactions

• Language for what’s happening inside them

• Confidence that they can influence how they feel

Rather than “fixing” a child, coaching helps them:

• Build emotional awareness

• Learn self-regulation strategies

• Develop self-belief and resilience

• Feel more in control of their inner world

Many children feel relief simply having someone who listens without judgement or pressure.

One Simple Thing You Can Try at Home

Here’s a gentle, effective activity you can use with your child - no therapy language required.

The “Traffic Light Check-In”

Ask your child (or teenager):

“If your feelings were a traffic light right now, are you red, amber, or green?”

• Red = overwhelmed, anxious, or flooded

• Amber = a bit stressed or unsettled

• Green = calm, okay, or coping

You can follow up with:

• “What makes it feel that way?”

• “What helps you move it even slightly towards green?”

There’s no pressure to change how they feel - just to notice it. This builds emotional awareness and shows your child that feelings are information, not something to fear or avoid.

Crucially, this works best when adults model it too. Saying things like “I think I’m a bit amber after today - I’m going to take a few deep breaths” helps normalise emotions and creates a shared, non-judgemental language around feelings in your family.

Why This Works

Anxiety often escalates when feelings feel confusing, overwhelming, or unspoken. Simple tools like the traffic light check-in help by making emotions visible and manageable.

Using colours gives children and teenagers a shortcut to describe how they’re feeling without needing lots of words. It also helps calm the nervous system by shifting the brain from reacting to noticing. When adults use the same language, it reinforces the message that all feelings are allowed and manageable, and that emotional regulation is a skill we practise together, not something children are expected to do on their own.

Over time, this kind of shared language builds emotional literacy, trust, and a sense of safety - all key foundations for resilience.

When Extra Support Can Really Help

If anxiety or overwhelm is:

• Ongoing

• Affecting school, sleep, friendships, or confidence

• Leading to frequent meltdowns or shutdowns

• Something you feel stuck navigating alone

…then coaching can provide support not just for your child, but for you as a parent too.

Many parents tell us:

“I feel calmer knowing they have someone else to talk to.”“They open up in coaching in ways they don’t at home.”

Coaching at Keystone Coaching

At Keystone Coaching, we work with children and teenagers in a warm, supportive, and age-appropriate way. Sessions are practical, engaging, and tailored to each young person - whether they’re anxious, overwhelmed, lacking confidence, or feeling stuck.

Coaching isn’t about labels or diagnoses. It’s about helping young people understand themselves and feel more capable in their everyday lives.

If you’re wondering whether coaching might help you or your child, you’re very welcome to get in touch for an initial conversation.

Sometimes, having the right support at the right time can make all the difference.

Get in touch