You are not responsible for anyone else’s actions, thoughts or happiness. I keep having to remind myself of this at the moment and tell myself that whilst I can give advice, I can’t make anyone do the work and I can’t hold myself accountable if they choose to ignore my advice. Basically, I can’t keep feeling guilty for how other people feel, especially if they are taking no action to change their circumstances. Every time I remind myself about this I feel a little lighter and

"‘No, thank you.’ Is a complete sentence." Say it with me, "I don’t have to explain my reasons to anyone." How often do you say no, but then feel bad and offer a detailed explanation to try and make the other person understand? Or finish with, ‘I hope that’s ok?’ Anyone else? But what I’ve realised, is that when you do this, you give the other person all the power. You try to gain their approval of your decision. Like you don’t trust yourself to have made the correct decision

There have been thousands of research papers published on self-confidence or self-esteem, and many of these papers connect self-confidence with success in life. They found that high self-esteem is associated with better health, better social lives, protection against mental disorders and social problems, healthy coping, and mental well-being. Martin Seligman reminds us that positive self-image by itself does not produce anything. A sustainable sense of belief in oneself arise

Last week I talked about setting personal boundaries, and I gave you an overview of the kind of things people, think, feel and do that prevent them from creating and maintaining personal boundaries. Today, let's channel Aretha Franklin and focus on the 4 major mistakes we make when it comes to self-esteem, confidence and self-respect. First, what is self-esteem? Some people think of self-esteem as their inner voice (or self-dialogue) – you know, the voice that tells you wheth

One issue that comes up time after time with clients is how to set and maintain personal boundaries. Quite often it comes up when clients experience huge stress and pressure from an unmanageable workload, constantly changing situations or expectations, the assumption that you will say yes or be able to accommodate every request. This leads to overwhelm and a feeling that you have no control. For others, their issue setting boundaries lies in their personal relationships and t

All change comes with risk. But how do you overcome the self-sabotaging thoughts and actually say yes?

Like me, are you counting down the days and hours until lockdown is lifted and we can emerge from our enforced chrysalis like a beautiful butterfly into the brilliant sunshine of spring? Or are you quite happy at home in your safe and comfy space, thank you very much?! Well, whatever your lockdown mindset, I've got the perfect tonic to get you through the next few months. Whether it's to accompany your daily walk, get you in the right frame of mind first thing, or give your l

Belonging is important to everyone no matter their age. When resting, our brains enter a default network which actually mimics the same neural cognitive system seen when we engage in social interaction. Even babies are biologically designed to seek out human connection and infants as young as 2 weeks old have been shown to exhibit the same neural network described above. Martin Seligman, the 'father of positive psychology,' developed a popular theory of wellbeing - PERMA - th

If there's one thing that's been under strain since the start of the pandemic, it's our relationships. Spending hours together in a limited number of rooms is surely enough to put even the strongest relationship to the test. Throw in home-schooling, whilst also trying to work from home, and you may have the perfect storm! But this article is not just about relationships with a partner or significant other. It also concerns the relationships you have with your children, parent

Transform Your Mind, Transform Your Life! You know that pile of clothes hanging on the treadmill you don't use? And the pile of papers you've been meaning to file but now resembles The Leaning Tower of Pisa? Well it might be time to do something about them, because research confirms they are bad for your physical and mental health. I know! I thought the same thing! How can a pile of inanimate objects impact my wellbeing? Well physically, clutter can cause a build up of dust,

Work-life balance. A phrase we hear all too often, and in my opinion it sends completely the wrong message. It implies that some kind of balance is actually possible, when in reality we all know that achieving a work-life balance is like trying to smell the colour nine. Yet it's a goal that clients often tell me they want to achieve. The trouble with the phrase is that word balance. The dictionary definition of balance is 'an even distribution of weight or a situation where e

A Broad Industry If you're reading this, you probably already have some idea about what coaching is. If you need a little bit more info, check out my article 'Why You Should Get A Coach for 2021' for a description of what coaching is - and isn't! The coaching industry is incredibly broad and covers multiple aspects of life. A quick search on Google will lead you to life coaches, confidence coaches, mindset coaches, executive coaches, relationship coaches, existential coaches,

With everything that’s going on in the world, you might find yourself feeling a bit low at the moment. This is completely understandable, and it is important to remember that all feelings are valid and negative feelings usually pass in time. However, if you notice a sadness or low mood often during the winter months, and rarely during the rest of the year, you may be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a type of seasonal depression that comes and goes in pa

If you’ve read my blog post ‘Reviewing 2020: 10 Questions to Ask Yourself’ you probably already have a good idea of the areas of your life that would benefit from some attention and TLC. If you haven’t started to review 2020 yet, that is where I would recommend you begin, so head over to the article here and come back once you have answered some or all the questions. If you have some inkling as to the areas of life you want to focus on but still don’t have a clear picture, yo

On a cold, wintry day, what’s better than curling up under a blanket with a good book? In my mind it’s what the word hygge was created for. Even better if you have a fire or candles going and are already in your PJ’s! Bliss! I love reading and books in general. I read and re-read. I…shhh…I even highlight passages and quotes and make notes in the margins of my favourite ones. But don’t tell anyone. That kind of behaviour is often frowned upon. I first read my favourite book, ‘

No matter which way you look at it, life is hard. Our days are filled with a multitude of pressures and frustrations and it is easy to see why so many people feel overwhelmed, anxious and stressed. Over time this pressure builds, and because you are so busy trying to stay on top of everything, you often don’t see the problem until it affects your physical or mental health. Most people are just so focused on getting through their week that they don’t stop to think about whethe

Anyone else totally over 2020 and looking forward to 2021? Me too. But before we completely dismiss 2020 in favour of the bright, shiny, hopeful new year, I think it’s important to look back and reflect on the events of the last 12 months. So much has happened this year. It’s like a whole decade of world-shifting events have been squashed into 365 days. Obviously, COVID-19 was the global headliner. But let’s not forget the devastating bush fires in Australia, the Black Lives

In an ideal world, wellbeing at work would start with the employer. Why should employers care about wellbeing? Well, research tells us that employee wellbeing is directly linked to employee performance. Global employee productivity and engagement is currently at an all-time low, with only 15% of employees actively engaged in their work and enthusiastic about their workplaces. Perhaps more worryingly, 18% are actively disengaged, and their unhappiness and resentment may lead t

Throughout lockdown, we were encouraged to spend an hour outside undertaking some form of physical exercise - something we all know directly benefits our health. What is less well known is that simply spending time in nature, be it in parks, forests or by the sea, has wide-ranging benefits for both physical health and psychological wellbeing. I can understand why. Who hasn’t felt better after a walk in the woods, a paddle in the sea or a picnic in the park? A growing body of

Tuning our attention into experiences gives us the power to create more opportunities to appreciate positive emotions in daily life. Research shows providing our brains with daily doses of awe, curiosity, gratitude, joy and love can support growth, success and positive social connections in the average person. It can also prevent a downward spiral in those whose mental health is ‘languishing’ or who are at risk of mental health issues. By seeking out momentary positive emotio